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  1. #1
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    Default Make Your Day - Missing - Missy the CAT :)

    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Poster

    Hi
    I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
    Thanks Shan.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
    Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
    Regards, David.
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Poster

    yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
    Attached poster as requested.
    Regards, David.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
    Regards, David.
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Dear Shannon,
    Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
    I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
    Regards, David.

    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	62711


    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    Click image for larger version. 

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

    yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Awww

    Dear Shannon,
    I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
    I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
    Regards, David.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Awww

    Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Awww

    I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
    I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
    Regards, David.
    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Please just use the photo I gave you.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	62714


    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	62715


    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
    From: David Thorne
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
    To: Shannon Walkley
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Click image for larger version. 

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    From: Shannon Walkley
    Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

    Fine. That will have to do.

  2. #2
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    Default

    NetEddy, you've made my day. This guy is guaranteed to always get a laugh ( several in this case ) outa me.
    Nico Swart

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    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  3. #3
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    Default

    Getting a cat removed today too!

  4. #4
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    Default

    Here's another one!
    Attached Files Attached Files
    Nico Swart

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    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  5. #5
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    Default

    I quite enjoy cats harassing our exotic ducks.

    They never come back to hassle us again.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    LC 78 Troopie 1HD-FTE
    +27 zero eight 2 four 95 9252

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Henris View Post
    I quite enjoy cats harassing our exotic ducks.

    They never come back to hassle us again.
    Henri, I know you won't believe me. But my one neighbor as more than 18 cats. Whats worse is that its homeless ones that gets brought home.

    My other neighbor has about 4.

    I won't even start with to tell you the never ending battle I have to fight daily...................
    Nico Swart

    Triton 2.5DiD D/C with SS
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    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nico.Swart View Post
    I won't even start with to tell you the never ending battle I have to fight daily...................




    and





    Or so I've heard .......
    Everything is a hammer.
    Unless it is a screw driver.

    Then it it a chisel.

    083 399 2046

  8. #8
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    Yes but I need them to erm................. lay down in my yard so that nou foul play will be suspected.

    Something to work fast. Shotgun to noisy.
    Nico Swart

    Triton 2.5DiD D/C with SS
    ZS6NJS

    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  9. #9
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    Had a cat lady in a complex I lived in. She wouldn''t open the windows because they'd all make a runner. The day the cleaned the place out it was p*** and *a* and rotting *** all over the place.

    You can report cat people to the SPCA - esp. with 18 animals.

  10. #10
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    Nico, maybe we should make a braai of it. Saturday afternoon or something.
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Henris View Post
    Nico, maybe we should make a braai of it. Saturday afternoon or something.
    I open to any suggestions. And a braai would be nice, last one was
    3 days ago. Waaaaay to long.
    Nico Swart

    Triton 2.5DiD D/C with SS
    ZS6NJS

    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  12. #12
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    Ok. Lets tie something up for this weekend. Habituate them so long. Leave them something to get them to your yard for feeding.

    Will have the SPCA on our necks very shortly.
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Henris View Post
    Ok. Lets tie something up for this weekend. Habituate them so long. Leave them something to get them to your yard for feeding.

    Will have the SPCA on our necks very shortly.
    That won't be difficult. If I only open the Kitchen door they start poking their little faces over the wall or around corners to see where the smell of food is coming from
    Nico Swart

    Triton 2.5DiD D/C with SS
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    One day, or Day One. You decide. Tomorrow is promised for no one!

  14. #14
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    I've heard some someone else who had issues with cats, that you can order lion urine from wildlife places. Sprinkle some on your borders.

    Cats are very territorial and apparently they fear lions...
    '03 Nissan Hardbody 3.3 V6 4x4 D/C
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  15. #15
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    My cat will kick your dogs a$$
    Sometimes you gotta break it to make it

  16. #16
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    I've heard stories about cats and asparine, it might be urban legend, luckily my neighbour moved, and i did not have to resort to those levels. Those dam cats were clever enough not to try my two staffies.
    LC 105 GX 4500 EFI

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nico.Swart View Post
    Henri, I know you won't believe me. But my one neighbor as more than 18 cats. Whats worse is that its homeless ones that gets brought home.

    My other neighbor has about 4.

    I won't even start with to tell you the never ending battle I have to fight daily...................
    Inform your local Chin***e restaurant
    Estee = S T = Sean Towlson, A Schrodingers Douche Bag GOF

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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Estee View Post
    Inform your local Chin***e restaurant
    In Musina?

    Where?
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  19. #19
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    Export
    Estee = S T = Sean Towlson, A Schrodingers Douche Bag GOF

    ''In Western society, it is not the facts or the truth that are important, but the correct presentation of information, even if it is a lie.''

    Clank, a 1979 Ex-SADF Series III 109 SW powered by a Toyota 2B Oil Burner

  20. #20
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    I guess cat also taste a bit like chicken

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