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  1. #1
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    Cool Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Ok so funny picture and joke threads aren't allowed, but I feel this falls in a bit of a grey area. It's more of an advice thread really.

    I am MC at a wedding this evening and I need a joke or two. Usually when people tell jokes it comes in the one ear, I laugh, and then it goes out the other ear.

    So gee my asb 'n oorspronklike grappie of twee as jy iets het.

    Selfs 'n trou themed land rover grappie kan werk, bruidegom is 'n Toyota man en sy swaer weer 'n baie groot landy ou.
    RvdM

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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Weddings are very different for bride and groom. The groom just arrives at the venue and stands next to the altar. The poor bride has to fit in her dress, do the hair, the make up, get out car with the huge dress so by the time she arrives she has a mental list going of all the proceedings.

    First we arrive at church and walk down the aisle. Then get to the altar and we sing the first hymn.

    So every brides checklist is:
    Aisle
    Altar
    Hymn


    Aisle
    Altar
    Hymn

    Aisle
    Altar
    Hymn


    And thats when the trouble starts

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    "it's been an emotional day for everyone, even the cake is in tiers"

    Usually about 40% of a wedding gets it but the ones that do kill themselves laughing (if never heard before)

    Former Game Ranger / Safari Guide
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  6. #4
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    I would like to start by requesting that all the exits and entrances be made clear for the medical team outside to rush in as quickly as they can when we present the bride's parents with the final wedding bill.

    Former Game Ranger / Safari Guide
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  8. #5
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    I wanted to make a short toast of my own if that's ok with everyone, will just be a minute. I’ve known Frik and Marie for a few years now, and I’ve seen them make a lot of difficult decisions together. Some good and some not-so-good decisions. I’m just glad that I could be here today to witness them make the best decision of their lives . . . long pause and look around the room(kyk rond n bietjie) . . . choosing me as their MC!
    Last edited by PJ SA; 2022/01/29 at 06:52 AM.

    Former Game Ranger / Safari Guide
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  10. #6
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    This is good, I knew it was a good plan to ask here. Thanks guys
    RvdM

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  11. #7
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Quote Originally Posted by rvdm1 View Post
    This is good, I knew it was a good plan to ask here. Thanks guys
    Lekker late with your planning good luck

    Looking for my speech note pad but think it's in the store room, if I find it I'll add some more here

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  13. #8
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Quote Originally Posted by PJ SA View Post
    Lekker late with your planning good luck

    Looking for my speech note pad but think it's in the store room, if I find it I'll add some more here
    Just a little... typical of me to procrastinate until there is a bit of pressure on. Ok and when it comes to speeches I tend to go with the flow rather than prep too much. I was just going to joke around in the moment but decided this morning that it won't be the same without one or to 'prepared' jokes.
    RvdM

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  14. #9
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Thank you for asking me to be your MC. Being an MC is almost like kissing the queen of England. Its a big honour but nobody really wants to do it
    Last edited by WillieJimny; 2022/01/29 at 07:11 AM.
    Willie Knoetze

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  16. #10
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Quote Originally Posted by PJ SA View Post
    Lekker late with your planning good luck

    Looking for my speech note pad but think it's in the store room, if I find it I'll add some more here
    This was what I was going to say, but yet again the forum delivers!


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  18. #11
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Not a joke but advice - drink enough Calmettes unil you feel a buzz developing and then stop.
    Jaco Nell

  19. #12
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    You will have a few mates among the guests, ask them to chirp you a bit and have a few chirps ready for them. My son was MC for my daughters wedding, he has red hair and he had a mate among the guests who chirped him about his red hair. He was quick to respond that it is not red it is ginger and he should not forget that. Broke the ice and from then on it was a funny light hearted affair with lots of impromptu laughs. Went well.
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  21. #13
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Skoonma grappies is altyd 'n wenner.
    Before you judge a person, first walk a mile in their shoes.

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  23. #14
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    An MC job is to co ordinate the process by informing all who are making speeches not to waffle for an hour but rather 3 min. Give a joke or two but don't laugh at your own jokes nor bring up past happenings that the groom did with some woman, this could cause a short wedding. When telling a joke in between speeches, don't make jokes about groom and bride, that is the best man's job. Keep jokes clean, including chirps. Lastly, don't give past secrets away. Good luck
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  25. #15
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Quote Originally Posted by bigboy529 View Post
    Skoonma grappies is altyd 'n wenner.
    If I can twist Mark Twain somewhat: Always tell jokes about your skoonma - as long as she is not present 😏.

    Derived from: Always listen to your parents - as long as they are present.
    If my post insulted you, wonder where the smiley went .

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  26. #16
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    A good starting point is to tell the bride and brides maids that they look beautiful and then say something like the grooms mom dressed him nicely
    Willie Knoetze

    2022 Suzuki Jimny

  27. #17
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Die paartjie moet asb. vanaand hulle gordyne toemaak, die liefde is blind, maar die res van ons is nie.

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  29. #18
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    An MC can make or break your wedding so we chose someone who was both comfortable and good at public speaking and played it safe by having our Dominie playing both roles.

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  31. #19
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Thanks everyone - also MC at a wedding soon, and these jokes are spot on 👌

  32. #20
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    Default Re: Wedding MC needing a joke or two

    Take care the bride is not allowed to eat wedding cake.

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