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  1. #21
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffy View Post
    Thanks for the input everybody. The collection of opinions more or less mirrors the termoil of my conciderations.

    This morning when she arrived we sent her home. Told her to come back on Wednesday with a list of everything she helps/has helped herself to.
    Sjoe you are nice. She will have a testing time sorting that out, if its little no stress but only she knows how many stuff has been taken
    Robert

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  2. #22
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Our domestic was recorded bragging how much she took from us "because the umlungus have lots".

    It's a mindset that has been fostered since 1994: "take it, it is yours anyway".........
    Jakes Louw
    2012 Jeep Sahara Unlimited 3.6 V6
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  3. #23
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Difficult one Fluffy.

    And you have a kind heart, that's the very reason for this Thread.

    But ja, bottom line - stealing is stealing.

  4. #24
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Fire her.

    Plenty decent people out there looking for work.
    2018 VW Amarok V6 Auto 4Motion

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  6. #25
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffy View Post
    Thanks for the input everybody. The collection of opinions more or less mirrors the termoil of my conciderations.

    This morning when she arrived we sent her home. Told her to come back on Wednesday with a list of everything she helps/has helped herself to.
    DAMN THIS IS INGENIOUS!!
    Not only do you get to know what she has taken BUT by her own hand she has furnished you with a confession of this incident and past incidents! No problem firing her after that!

    I gotta remember this one! 👍👍
    Gary
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  8. #26
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffy View Post
    The heading says it all. I was in Pretoria and arrived home tonight. Wifey tells me she found our maid with a tin of Cockroach spray and Mosquito spray in her bag. This is not the first time, it happens on a regular basis.

    Why does somebody you care for and lookout for do this to you. She is the only breadwinner, with a heap of hand me down kids from errant family members.

    What to do - what to do.
    She should have been gone the first time

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  10. #27
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffy View Post
    Thanks for the input everybody. The collection of opinions more or less mirrors the termoil of my conciderations.

    This morning when she arrived we sent her home. Told her to come back on Wednesday with a list of everything she helps/has helped herself to.
    This reminds me of the time when I was about ten years old and I was naughty. My Dad decided to give me a hiding with a belt on my backside.
    he told me I would get a hiding the next morning but I must choose whether I want four hard ones or six not so hard ones . I chose four hard smacks but the agony of choosing "which" was far more painful than the hiding itself.

    Its a hard one because the children suffer .

  11. #28
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    a Friend's wife once "lost" a handbag. Couple days later their maid has a photo of her on whatsapp with the "new" handbag .... she denied it, until they showed her the photo. Criminals are dumb ... most of the time.

    Back to OP - if she feels that she can't come to you, and ask that you buy her mosquito and cockroach repellent for her home, then there is a problem in the relationship or she's just a serial thieve. Let her go.
    Last edited by Morne - Skip; 2021/10/22 at 12:03 PM.

  12. #29
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    The "again" portion is the problem! Remember - there is a big difference between doing the good thing and doing the right thing.
    Everything is a hammer.
    Unless it is a screw driver.

    Then it it a chisel.

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  13. #30
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    She stole from you yesterday, there's nothing to suggest she won't steal from you tomorrow.

    90% of us who employ domestic help have various items stolen from us on a regular basis. There is a huge market in the areas where they reside for sugar, coffee, tea and toilet paper etc. Our maid died of Covid this year, suddenly the bog roll started breading in the cupboard. Became a pandemic and spread to the kitchen items as well!
    "Never give up! Even Moses was a basket case."

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  15. #31
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Morne - Skip View Post
    a Friend's wife once "lost" a handbag. Couple days later their maid has a photo of her on whatsapp with the "new" handbag .... she denied it, until they showed her the photo. Criminals are dumb ... most of the time.

    Back to OP - if she feels that she can't come to you, and ask that you buy her mosquito and cockroach repellent for her home, then there is a problem in the relationship or she's just a serial thieve. Let her go.

    Back in school st 6 if I remember my girlfriends phone got stolen out of her bag and everyone had their suspicions. A day or 2 later this guy shows off his new cellphone to his buddies, the phone still had sticky residue on the cover where she had stickers on it and some of her contacts was still on the phone, so it didn't take long to put 2 and 2 together. Very stupid since at that time with the Nokia 3310 you could replace the entire cover with something totally different.
    That was the first time the specific guy got taken away in a police van, it happened again a few years later in st 9 I think and apparently a few years after school he got caught steeling again and got sent to prison.
    "The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read" - Not Mark Twain

  16. #32
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Morne - Skip View Post
    a Friend's wife once "lost" a handbag. Couple days later their maid has a photo of her on whatsapp with the "new" handbag .... she denied it, until they showed her the photo. Criminals are dumb ... most of the time.

    Back to OP - if she feels that she can't come to you, and ask that you buy her mosquito and cockroach repellent for her home, then there is a problem in the relationship or she's just a serial thieve. Let her go.
    On a family members farm a guy was caught stealing a battery from a tractor. On camera. Called him in and showed him the evidence. Just flatly denied it was him in the video even though he was wearing exactly the same clothes. Too clever.
    ....

  17. #33
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    There is no easy answer , her replacement could even steal more.
    Accept that with most domestics you are going to have theft, and tighten your security where you can.
    Ken die duiwel wat jy het
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  19. #34
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    WE had a domestic who reasoned that if we had more than one of anything it was excessive so she took the extras, nail clippers, potato peelers table clothes, watches , soft toys, horse brass.....you name it she had it

    She would move the object out of its allotted spot and put it somewhere else in a cupboard. If it was not missed for 2 or 3 weeks it left the house never to return.
    When we recognised what was happening we confronted her.
    she went home the weekend and on monday , hey presto, some of the more valuable items suddenly appeared in there allotted place again BUT NOT ALL.
    This maid tried to persuade my wife that she was losing her marbles.

    Sounds like your case is similar

    There is only 1 way and that is the right way,
    Disciplinary hearing (done properly)
    mitigating and aggravating evidence
    outcome.

    If you choose to let her off with a warning that is your choice

    BUT

    the record now stands and whatever happens after that will not be a FIRST occurrence where you have to start from scratch again

    I always say
    The employee paints the picture of her employment history
    Your job is the record it until the picture makes the outcome obvious and the records support this
    Last edited by Maartendeneef; 2021/10/22 at 12:39 PM.

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  21. #35
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zoutpansberg View Post
    There is no easy answer , her replacement could even steal more.
    Accept that with most domestics you are going to have theft, and tighten your security where you can.
    Ken die duiwel wat jy het
    Sadly this has become a default setting for many people and possibly with some merit.

    Personally I cannot hand a paycheque (ok, EFT these days) to a person looking me in the eyes and having to accept that said person steals from me. If they steal they go - trick is to find out exactly what has been stolen. Sad reflection on our society but not at all surprising.
    Jaco Nell

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  23. #36
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    My wealthy Xhosa neighbor who has 2 porsches and land discovery in the garage,asked me if I knew of a honest domestic looking for work. Seems till then he had fired 2 domestic workers for stealing. Unfortunately,no matter how much material things you give, your get thise that will take more.
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    Craig
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  24. #37
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    She has committed one of the cardinal sins of employment, you know what you have to do.

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  26. #38
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maartendeneef View Post
    She would move the object out of its allotted spot and put it somewhere else in a cupboard. If it was not missed for 2 or 3 weeks it left the house never to return.
    Yes, it's called the Maid's Shuffle. So it moves from the front of a rack to a position at the back, or even another room. If nothing is said, it goes into a cupboard. If there still no query, then POOF out the door.

    We lock our pantry because we were supplying Garankuwa. We now weigh the washing powder and measure the dishwash. We measure out sugar on a Monday. The bogroll still disappears at a high rate. But the soap, rice and sugar now lasts forever.
    Jakes Louw
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  27. #39
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    My girlfriend's domestic stole her one hifi two years ago, when cornered her reply was "but you have two, and I needed one"


    She had a very stern warning, had to bring back the hifi and ever since then nothing went missing again, or nothing went missing that my girl noticed. I insisted that she must be charged and fired.
    Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people - Eleanor Roosevelt.

  28. #40
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    Default Re: MAD MAD MAD - Caught our domestic stealing - again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maartendeneef View Post
    WE had a domestic who reasoned that if we had more than one of anything it was excessive so she took the extras, nail clippers, potato peelers table clothes, watches , soft toys, horse brass.....you name it she had it

    She would move the object out of its allotted spot and put it somewhere else in a cupboard. If it was not missed for 2 or 3 weeks it left the house never to return.
    When we recognised what was happening we confronted her.
    she went home the weekend and on monday , hey presto, some of the more valuable items suddenly appeared in there allotted place again BUT NOT ALL.
    This maid tried to persuade my wife that she was losing her marbles.

    Sounds like your case is similar

    There is only 1 way and that is the right way,
    Disciplinary hearing (done properly)
    mitigating and aggravating evidence
    outcome.

    If you choose to let her off with a warning that is your choice

    BUT

    the record now stands and whatever happens after that will not be a FIRST occurrence where you have to start from scratch again

    I always say
    The employee paints the picture of her employment history
    Your job is the record it until the picture makes the outcome obvious and the records support this

    That's the old MO, also experienced it before.
    The item first gets hidden, if you notice and ask for it then it will reappear, if you don't notice however, then it will be gone forever.
    "The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read" - Not Mark Twain

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