Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts





View Poll Results: Do share bank accounts or keep separate?

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  • Separate: hers is hers and his is his

    52 46.43%
  • Combined: shared bank account

    31 27.68%
  • Combo: we refund each other for expenses

    23 20.54%
  • None of your business

    6 5.36%
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  1. #1
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    Default Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    See poll attached. I'm interested to see the outcome.

    When it comes to relationships, especially marriage, do you share bank accounts or is each one responsible for each item separately?
    Last edited by douglash; 2021/01/12 at 01:29 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    You miss one -

    Separate accounts, but shared responsibilities

    Also it depends on how one got married - in or out of community of property!
    Last edited by Spook; 2021/01/12 at 01:36 PM.
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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    This is a can of worms....

    I suggest you do whatever she wants you to do....
    Last edited by Aviator_01; 2021/01/12 at 01:38 PM.

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  6. #4
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    We keep our monies separate. Expenses for us are split based on income. SWAMBO has my CCs for agreed expenses. Never misused. Both have our own cards also.

    We are not married - just living together 23 years.
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by Aviator_01 View Post
    This is a can of worms....

    I suggest you do whatever she wants you to do....
    This seems to work well. Sort of whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. We tried a joint account, but the bank never really went in for that sort of thing back around 2000. So we just had my wifes acc. All our assets are in her name, so officially I am a lodger, with no fixed address, bankless stateless etc. I know for a fact that I also have no credit score.

    When my wife was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, she insisted that i open an account again. (This is one of the down sides if one spouse dies suddenly - although luckily I have no experience of this but I believe bank accounts are frozen quick smart.)

    Since news of her impending death was, it turns out, premature, I am back to shovelling money into her account every month, but its not that bad, she normally gives me a R100/month lunch money, if I am well behaved.

    Obviously each situation is unique. I have mostly had my own business, so I very much prefer to have no assets, and probably more NB, my wife is not prone to spending recklessly. Your experience may vary, but the idea of splitting each expense 50:50 seems like a lot of effort. i have also seen this leading to some/a lot of tension in mates of ours that follow this rule, but most of them are divorced so I guess it is once bitten twice shy sort of thing.

  8. #6
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Wifey has her own bank accounts. She handles certain things but mostly I will transfer to her account as needed for family expenses which she takes care of.

    I have never like the joint / shared bank account.

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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Our joint account has worked well for 35 years. Not married in community of property. She has her own business account as well, so can be independent if necessary.
    Mike Lauterbach

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  11. #8
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    To give my own side, we have our own separate bank accounts that our salary goes into. Most of the debit orders come from my account.

    Then using my credit card account, we both have cards linked and setup on banking profiles so we can monitor our spends together. That way we benefit more from the bank incentives... ala ebucks, etc.

    What i'm coming across more and more nowadays is 'she pays for this, he pays for that' and if she pays for something, he puts the money into her account, etc.

    Point taken on the in or out of community of property also, but that doesn't detract from the above scenarios which I have come across.

    It's a little bit of a foreign concept to me as we have shared our 'money' from day one.
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  12. #9
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    separate bank accounts, makes life a lot simpler - go listen to horror stories of accounts being in say the husbands name and he dies suddenly leaving the wife and kids with no money as the accounts are frozen.

    From a day to day point of view we cross fund each other as and when needed without keeping track of anything, we each trust the other to spend as needed so do not see the need to keep track of things

    end of the month excess funds goes into the bond so it doesn't really matter who pays for what.
    Last edited by mullerza; 2021/01/12 at 02:02 PM.
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  14. #10
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by mullerza View Post
    separate bank accounts, makes life a lot simpler - go listen to horror stories of accounts being in say the husbands name and he dies suddenly leaving the wife and kids with no money as the accounts are frozen.
    The above is an absolutely huge consideration.

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  16. #11
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by mullerza View Post
    - go listen to horror stories of accounts being in say the husbands name and he dies suddenly leaving the wife and kids with no money as the accounts are frozen.
    .
    even if the wife has access to online banking?
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  17. #12
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by mullerza View Post
    separate bank accounts, makes life a lot simpler - go listen to horror stories of accounts being in say the husbands name and he dies suddenly leaving the wife and kids with no money as the accounts are frozen.

    From a day to day point of view we cross fund each other as and when needed without keeping track of anything, we each trust the other to spend as needed so do not see the need to keep track of things

    end of the month excess funds goes into the bond so it doesn't really matter who pays for what.

    I fully agree and speak from experience from when my wife passed away.
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  18. #13
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by douglash View Post
    What i'm coming across more and more nowadays is 'she pays for this, he pays for that' and if she pays for something, he puts the money into her account, etc.
    It's a little bit of a foreign concept to me as we have shared our 'money' from day one.
    Foreign concept for me too.
    We've had one account for over 50 years and never had a single problem.
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  20. #14
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    There are two methods that can cause huge issues:
    - Neither one has no money for totally private use
    - One earns money but doesn't contribute anything towards common expenses

    Both scenarios happen.

    In a traditional Spanish family female handles the money. When man asks money for bull fight wife is not asking questions. Better not as that money may go for services rendered.

    The point is that different cultures have different rules. In our case we have many cultures and there have been huge changes. There are many on this forum who married at the time when wife had no say on money issues, could not sign papers but was protected by a law. Husband had to provide living standard based on his income.
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  21. #15
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by douglash View Post
    To give my own side, we have our own separate bank accounts that our salary goes into. Most of the debit orders come from my account.

    Then using my credit card account, we both have cards linked and setup on banking profiles so we can monitor our spends together. That way we benefit more from the bank incentives... ala ebucks, etc.

    What i'm coming across more and more nowadays is 'she pays for this, he pays for that' and if she pays for something, he puts the money into her account, etc.

    Point taken on the in or out of community of property also, but that doesn't detract from the above scenarios which I have come across.

    It's a little bit of a foreign concept to me as we have shared our 'money' from day one.
    Exactly the same here.
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  23. #16
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Separate accounts but shared responsibility.

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  25. #17
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Apart from some legalities, this separate accounts thing does not compute with me.

    My view is, we have a bond in both our names, we both enjoy and eat all the food in the house, we both work hard on two kids to raise and feed them, we both travel in and enjoy the same cars and we both enjoy holidays together. Paid with money both of us worked for to do this "life" thing together. What then is the difference if I "pay" for groceries/car installments/kids school fees/fuel or she did?
    Last edited by IcePick88; 2021/01/12 at 02:52 PM.
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  27. #18
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    I find it so much easier to just do recons on the one cheque account and one credit card as opposed to doing it on more accounts.

    2 is already tedious but at least i know why im broke at the end of the month as it is all there in black and white columns in excel. I pay some monet to swambo for what im really not sure but every once in a while this does allow the odd surprise weekend or to smooth over any bumps encountered along the way.

    She has her own credit card as well - this would be the emergency back up if met my end. She also knows to go and transfer money out of the credit card and also any access bond funds prior to informing the bank of my demise and clear to her own account.

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  29. #19
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Quote Originally Posted by natand View Post
    She also knows to go and transfer money out of the credit card and also any access bond funds prior to informing the bank of my demise and clear to her own account.
    This.

    My wife also has her own account at the same bank as our shared account. Used for UIF when she was on maternity leave. She knows she needs to transfer all funds from the cheq to her account when I keel over.

    Does a shared bond also get frozen? Cuz there is also monies in there she can use from the access bond.
    Last edited by IcePick88; 2021/01/12 at 02:59 PM.
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  30. #20
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    Default Re: Mr and Mrs Bank Accounts

    Whether I buy something or she buy something, I still pay for it!
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