Foot in mouth disease - Page 3




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  1. #41
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    Quote Originally Posted by Rustie View Post
    I had my very own "Margaret van Wyk" moment - luckily just on our extensive family group on whats app, not a "public" one.

    Moving along now.....
    Care to show and tell?
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  2. #42
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    Jun 2014
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    It was the mid 90's, and our local primary school just got a young new Afrikaans teacher, a very prim and proper lady from Cape Town.
    My Mom was a senior at the school, having taught there since the late 60's, and the new teacher was duly invited to our house for Sunday lunch.

    As is common practice in our house, before the meal we will join hands and Dad will say a prayer. At the time my Dad was Ouderling at the local NG Kerk...

    As we sit there, table laden with Moms best food and her finest silverware, holdings hands, expecting the usual "Dankie Here vir die voedsel en seen dit aan ons liggame" my Dad, in his most sincere deepest voice belts out:

    "Amen damen skottelgoed kas, knoop die duiwel aan sy agtervoet vas"

    For a good 5 seconds you could here a pin drop, and then the rapturous laughter that followed made sure the new lady knew she was now officially part of the community

    She later married a local farmer and we are still house friends today.
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  3. #43
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    This reminds me of my pre-teen days, when our family spent a few days at Christmas with my Ouma & Oupa in Standerton. We all sat around the table for the evening meal, holding hands as was the tradition, and closed our eyes for grace to be said.

    Except it wasn't said. Ouma & Oupa started to sing their grace and they were really not that marvellous at this. He croaked, she squawked, both of them seemingly completely out of tune with one another and I had a major problem in trying not to burst out laughing. You know what happens when you inadvertently start sniggering but cannot stop, it just gets worse and worse. This set off my two younger brothers as well and even my Mom started to chuckle.

    To this day I still feel bad about this but I really was expecting them to *say* grace, not to sing it.

    Luckliy, they still loved us and we still went there many times after this.


    -F_D
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  4. #44
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    Years ago when i had just started in business, I was asked to quote on some work at a clothing factory.
    This involved measuring up in the boardroom but a Meeting was in progress. No problem said the secretary just carry on they will not mind.
    After finishing the measuring I walked out the of what I thought was the exit only to find myself in a store room. I returned to a board room of directors in fits of laughter.
    Was my face red !!
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  5. #45
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    Sep 2009
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    Cape Town
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth.

    It happens so often no single one really stands out, but for this one that happened about a year ago.

    Picture this, huge boardroom, 12 executives from the company all sitting around. I've just completed my very successful pitch, all are smiling.
    The one very senior lady exec is struggling with the one aspect of the application and I offer her my assistance.

    Now, I know she's Afrikaans, and very politely enquire, "Mevrou, mag ek maar aan jou muis vat?"

    The Afrikaans CFO literally wet himself trying to not burst out laughing. He had to excuse himself.
    The other execs where turning various shades of blue, red and grey, all trying to act prim and proper and PC.

    After what seemed like an eternity, which was probably only 3 minutes, she nonchalantly replied, "Enige tyd, maar moenie skrik as "sy" vibreer nie, ek dink die batterye word pap."

    I did not have the guts to ask her what she meant by it, but we all had a good laugh.

    I am still being ragged about it.
    I don't blush easily, but that day I felt like I was on fire.
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  7. #46
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    Quote Originally Posted by swakop_toe View Post
    I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth.

    It happens so often no single one really stands out, but for this one that happened about a year ago.

    Picture this, huge boardroom, 12 executives from the company all sitting around. I've just completed my very successful pitch, all are smiling.
    The one very senior lady exec is struggling with the one aspect of the application and I offer her my assistance.

    Now, I know she's Afrikaans, and very politely enquire, "Mevrou, mag ek maar aan jou muis vat?"

    The Afrikaans CFO literally wet himself trying to not burst out laughing. He had to excuse himself.
    The other execs where turning various shades of blue, red and grey, all trying to act prim and proper and PC.

    After what seemed like an eternity, which was probably only 3 minutes, she nonchalantly replied, "Enige tyd, maar moenie skrik as "sy" vibreer nie, ek dink die batterye word pap."

    I did not have the guts to ask her what she meant by it, but we all had a good laugh.

    I am still being ragged about it.
    I don't blush easily, but that day I felt like I was on fire.
    Okay I laughed so hard my staff asked if I'm fine
    Daily drive: 2017 Volkswagen cross up!
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  8. #47
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    Nov 2009
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    Richardsbay, KZN
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    Default Re: Foot in mouth disease

    Few years ago myself and the Blonde attended the photo club's AGM. Had to attend as I was the winner of one of the categories for the year and I couldn't pass, much to my dismay.

    The chairman at the time was, uhhm, a very "churchy" person and was at the door to welcome all the guests. He obviously knew who I was but when he saw the Blonde in all her vivaciousness he commented: "you look very familiar, where have I seen you?"

    So instead of her saying; well most probably the Pick and Pay where everybody in our suburb shops and have daily chinwags, me, by now three Captains strong to try and cope with the next two hours, tells the chairman it was most probably in an "adult" movie..

    There was no comment, the man went 23 different shades of red, bordering on a purplish amber at times and just waved us in.

    The snacks that night was great though, realy tasty samoosas with pickled mango was the highlight!
    Last edited by Riaan van Wyk; Yesterday at 07:56 PM.
    "Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something, you are not here long"
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